As humans, we can all relate to a time we were tired, worn out, stressed, pushed to our breakin' point, and wonderin' where God was. Is it those tests we studied our hardest for, only to receive a bad grade? Is it those moments when our dreams seem in reach but are suddenly wretched away? Too numerous to list.
We ask: why does God allow that to happen to us, His people? How can we trust in Him disappointment after disappointment?
In the recent past, I had my fair share of disappointin' experiences. I went into post-graduate studies excited and ready to find the perfect job afterwards. Along the line, I was catapulted into a job that appeared to be one for the future. However, things turned sour and all I have to show for huge investments of my time, energy and money is rejection and betrayal. In my mind, I did everythin' to ensure I would stay on the job. I have good grades, I was heavily involved in researches related that field, I feel like I performed well in my interviews and on top of that, I prayed for it to happen. Still, I was shoved out.
Honestly, why won’t God allow somethin' to come easily just this once? The first few minutes after the news came, I was scared, wonderin' how I was ever goin' to find a job when I have very little experience and when many of my peers seem to be gettin' jobs as quickly as bread flies off the racks at Shoprite. I am not exaggerating. Frankly, in those minutes, I was pretty fed up with God and His apparently “great plans.”
“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”- Proverbs 16:9 “A lot is cast into the lap, but it’s every decision is from the Lord.”- Proverbs 17: 33 “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trust in Him, and I am helped.”- Psalm 28: 7 “I sought the Lord and He answered me, He delivered me from all my fears.”- Psalm 34:4
Though these words brought me comfort, I was still a girl without a job and tryin' to find my path. The ironic thing is throughout that whole week, my devotional said somethin' about trustin' in God and waitin' on His timing. I love one of the quotes I found: "when you're weary and everythin' seems to be goin' wrong, you can still utter these fours words: I trust You, Jesus."
How many times do we completely discount God when the things in our lives seem to go wrong? We doubt, cry, and pout like a toddler whose mother didn't buy what she wanted at the supermarket. Why don’t we rejoice instead? Why are we so quick to forget all the times God rescued us? Why do we forget the things God is doin' in our lives right this second that enable us to survive?
As difficult as it can be to believe and as often as people suggest James 1:2 (as if readin' that verse magically solves your problems), it’s still true. Life is not easy, but God never promises it will be. We can’t control the plans of our lives or what direction they will take, but we can change our attitude durin' times of trial and disappointments. We can choose to thank God for all He has done and the faithfulness He has shown us in the past. We can choose to take delight in the gift of each day. And we can rejoice when life twists our carefully orchestrated plans.
It is not easy. On the contrary, it takes plenty of work. God is usin' what you're goin' through right now to prepare you for somethin' in the future that you don’t have any idea about. Maybe the job was taken away because it will prevent me from a greater opportunity. Maybe God is protectin' me from a horrible boss. Maybe it happened so that I'd find time for other things. Maybe he's stoppin' me from buildin' a career in a path different from his plan for me, because it's not clear to me yet what I want to do with the rest of my life that is comin' immanently closer every second.
For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. -Psalm 84:11
This verse doesn’t say you won’t be crushed at times in life, disappointed, and even devastated by God’s circumstances, but it does say that God is sovereign and He is protectin' us from ourselves. Our best does not necessarily equal His best.
If you are in a period of waitin' and disappointments are poppin' left, right and centre, God has not forgotten you. Though you might not get the endin' you wanted, God is still providin' for you despite your doubt. Today, try to desire the plans and things God wants to give you instead of what you think you deserve. Remember, without disappointments we would not be able to fully bloom.
