SPINSTERS

When one hears an ex-boyfriend or some guy who was smitten with one is married or getting married, one wonders; “could that have been me?”, ”did I miss a golden opportunity?”, ”could he have been the one that made my dreams come true?” - especially in a society where single women find themselves under pressure to get hitched, should one marry the first man to come along or the man who’s ready when one is not? I’m a firm believer of the school of thought “marry in haste, repent in leisure”.

Often, a girl’s first love is practically a dream come true and she’d feel he’s the one and only love of her life. He’d probably do all the right things, sweep her off her feet and shower her with affection never before experienced. What could she do but fall in love? After a while, she’d realize he’s not her idea of who and what she’d like for a husband – but should she have any regrets? No!

Next would most likely be so possessive, he’d already start tracking her every movement before ever they even start dating. Let’s just say most girls won’t even go there… She sees him from time to time and he still seems to be in the same place in life as he was when she first met him. Did she miss an opportunity? He’d always try to make her feel as though she had missed out by not dating him. She, on the other hand, having a feeling that, had she dated him, she’d still be stuck in the past, not having achieved much, with all her dreams dissipated and all the sparkle gone from her life.

Then, she’d have to deal with Mr. Infatuated, letting go of him for reasons of faith. He may probably become willing to take his faith more seriously and even mention marriage before she realizes it’s all just a façade.

There’d be a few others who’d jump through hoops for her and be interested in a relationship for real. However, for one reason or the other, she’d have to say no. Some will go on and marry someone else. Others, she’d have the foggiest idea where they are and as for her, she’s still single (not because she thought she was too good for these men – some were too good for her!).

So, should she have said yes? Maybe she’d have had a baby or more in tow by now… Who knows?! This could just be the way it should be…

Ladies, have no regrets. God orders the steps of the righteous and if God hasn't made it happen for you now, it most certainly wasn't meant to be with those men. Some may tend to categorize you as “too choosy” and you probably are and should be! Marriage is a lifetime decision, you need to choose right! You want a marriage that works, desire to marry the right person for you, don’t want to look back with regrets? Then, you shouldn't mind waiting for God’s best. You don't settle - for good - good is not good enough, best does it.

We live in a world where there’s a lot of emphasis on being married, particularly once you reach a certain age. If, by that age, you’re not married, people start asking you a thousand  and one questions, giving you lectures and dispensing unsolicited advice. You meet people who ceaselessly address you as Mrs.... and that gets you thinking "Mrs. God-knows-who... hmmm... Have I already met him? Is he one of the male friends I have around me or is he in my immediate future?

Apart from societal pressure, I believe that as humans, we sometimes desire to be in that “special” and committed” relationship but does that mean we should compromise beliefs and abandon dreams that we hold very dear to our hearts? I think you've come too far to settle for that.