I’ll just
say it. I’m prone to mood swings. When I’m happy, I’m really happy. I
feel it perfectly and intensely and could almost spill over with the sensation
of being totally filled up and satisfied. At the same time, when I’m upset, or
angry, I’m completely upset or angry and no matter the logic
you use, you’ll be hard pressed to talk me out of feeling that way.
Feeling things
is a good thing, it makes one highly empathetic to others. And yet, I must
admit there are times this doesn’t always feel like a good thing. There are
times I wish I could not empathize with someone because it
hurts to feel empathy, and because when you empathize too much with too many
people, after awhile you begin to feel the weight of the whole world on your
shoulders.
There are
also times when my tendency to feel deeply can alienate me from relationships,
disconnect me from reality, and prevent me from making calm, clear-headed
choices. There are times when my tendency to over-emote can derail my entire
day.
Recently, I’ve
been focusing on keeping those mood swings in check by reminding myself of a few
things I must believe no matter how I feel or what mood I'm in.
§ The world is a good place, with good people
where good things happen. No doubt, bad things happen too. But when I
start my day with the assumption that good things often happen,
my attention tends to be drawn to the good things that happen to me and around
me. When an outcome is hanging in the balance, this assumption keeps me from
wasting time with needless worry. Either way, focusing on good things
keeps me from catastrophizing my life. Even if I’m having a bad day now,
chances are the next half hour will be better.
§ People are not out to get you, stop feeling
victimised. When I assume that people are not out to get me (that most
people, most of the time, are really doing the best they can), it keeps me from
overreacting when someone does something I don’t like, that frustrates me or
hurts my feelings. Though I may not fully understand the motives behind others’
actions neither will I also be able to control them, I can only assume that
their motives weren’t meant to hurt me and I can choose to ignore rather than
retaliate when I’m offended.
§ What feels like a “crisis” is rarely as
tragic as it seems. Those things that feel like a “crisis” in our daily
life; not hearing the alarm, running out of gas, being late for an appointment,
etc. will rarely seem as tragic when we look back on it two, five or ten hours
from now. I’m learning to remind myself of this fact each day, so that when
“crisis” come, I can stay calm.
§ I still have a lot to learn. Having
this in mind keeps me from the fruitless task of trying to change the mind of
someone who thinks differently than me. It keeps me teachable, and allows me to
approach life with my eyes wide open. It also keeps me from getting frustrated
with others who have a lot to learn too because in the end, we all do.
§ Life isn’t rigged. Sometimes
it feels like the game of life is rigged. Some people are set up to be
successful, others aren’t. Some have the resources to be successful, others
don’t. Truth be told though, we’re all dealt a different hand in life but the
game isn’t rigged. We all get out what we put in (we reap what we sow).
The
reward of these choice of thoughts has helped me bloom.
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