Saturday 27 September 2014

FEELINGS

Every so often when we try to communicate to others what effects their words or deeds have on us, we end by saying “that’s how I feel”. Looking at this from a different perspective lately, it gives the impression that we let what we feel have the final say, we let it be lord over our lives and boss of the people we love. And no doubt, most of the time, that is the case. We go through our daily lives putting our feelings in charge. If we feel good, then it’s gonna be a great day. If we feel terrible, it surely will be a horrible day - for us and everyone we come in contact with.

We should look at our feelings in a different light and put our emotions to their rightful place - bring them under subjection to the will of God and under a choice to be positive because we can be in charge of our feelings. And how selfish our feelings can be, letting us worry mostly about our own comfort, peace and happiness. Rarely putting the feelings of others into consideration, interpreting their words and actions to suit our feelings.

If anything, it is our feelings that make it difficult to obey God’s words. He tells us to love one another, to be merciful, gracious and compassionate (all the time, not when we feel like it). Now, how can we love that friend when we feel that they are being insensitive to our needs? How can we be merciful to that person who constantly makes us “feel” helpless? How can we be gracious to that neighbour when we “feel” like they are taking advantage of us? How can we be compassionate towards someone who lets us feel we shouldn’t get what we ask?

Think about the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance). While some of it may seem like things we “feel”, they actually require actions. For all it’s worth, our feelings do count – they are just not supposed to be in the forefront. If God has the driver’s seat in our lives and we take the passenger’s seat, then our feelings are left in the backseat.

If we are honest, we’d admit that our feelings are almost always all about us. And in contrast, nothing is all about us at all. Should something go in a way we didn’t expect or should some bad news come, our initial reaction is to act in line with our feelings and that is usually a bad idea and may get us in trouble with our relationships. So, instead, I wait. While your initial feeling may be valid from the onset, you are most likely not going to feel that way after a while. Nine times out of ten, our initial feelings on a situation are self-centred. This is one of the reasons while we cannot act based on how we feel. Take some time to run your feelings through a filter and figure out exactly how you should feel about the situation.


As we go through every day, let us carefully select our feelings and not let them run our lives. We must be in control of how we feel if we want to bloom.

Monday 1 September 2014

NEW BEGINNINGS

Life is full of many new beginnings, so many. September has always seemed more to me like the start of a ‘new year’, as opposed to the conventional January. Growing up, September marked the end of the lazy, hazy days of the long holidays. And in my home, once the last day of August arrives, my sisters and I would be expected to turn in individual back-to-school lists to our parents.

September brings a sense of novelty. The freshness in the air. The mixed feelings towards the start of a new school year. Having wrung out all the holiday fun, the idea of a chance to start with a clean slate always sounds good. Often we feel sad for the end of summer classes but at the same time, we look forward to new routines and a change. Sound familiar? For me it goes back to secondary school days. I still remember resumption days after the long summer holidays. The smell of fresh grass which meant a few weeks of strenuous “labour”, the sticky spirogyra on the walls and floor, yet to be scuffed by footwears and brooms, the trauma of meeting a new class teacher and the greater dread of a pristine exercise book with beautiful blank pure white pages which was soon to be covered in ink blots with words sometimes too big to comprehend. Each new class brings new challenges and it’d take a few weeks to settle in and get a good pattern going. More than these, September has marked the turn of life-changing events in my life. It holds sweet-sour memories for me, but I tag it my month of peace because it's also the month when I first experienced the "peace that passeth all understanding" and got understanding that only that kind of peace can bring.

September calls on me to refocus and restrategise. The days quickly get shorter and make way for longer, cooler evenings. The weather changes and I am aware that it is natural to feel the effects of these changes in the body especially in September. Perhaps, a little cold or allergies will spring up (they have now). Perhaps, I will have to eat more than I normally do (yes…lol). Perhaps, I will feel the need to do a complete life overhaul – well, that's a lifetime work in progress rather than a quick-fix. All of these serve as a reminder that it is a perfect time to re-evaluate my lifestyle, to hone some of the organizational systems I have in place to streamline my time management and refresh my tool box for success.

So here I am at September again! Time to transition into a new beginning with better perspectives. And this is what new beginnings remind me of - to not be restricted by what worked or didn’t work in the past; to be open-minded and think outside the box; to try new things and rethink old patterns; to revisit relationships or leads that didn’t have a good fit in the past; to reach out, up, over or down and team up with like-minded individuals for support and inspiration. And lately, it’s taught me to not let fear stop me from taking my chances.

September’s given me something new as always. This time, a line I thought I should share. “Take a chance on something seemingly awkward and you’d literally astound yourself, for you never know with whom you shall share a ride on this journey of life!” May new beginnings in your life cause you to bloom.