FEELINGS

Every so often when we try to communicate to others what effects their words or deeds have on us, we end by saying “that’s how I feel”. Looking at this from a different perspective lately, it gives the impression that we let what we feel have the final say, we let it be lord over our lives and boss of the people we love. And no doubt, most of the time, that is the case. We go through our daily lives putting our feelings in charge. If we feel good, then it’s gonna be a great day. If we feel terrible, it surely will be a horrible day - for us and everyone we come in contact with.

We should look at our feelings in a different light and put our emotions to their rightful place - bring them under subjection to the will of God and under a choice to be positive because we can be in charge of our feelings. And how selfish our feelings can be, letting us worry mostly about our own comfort, peace and happiness. Rarely putting the feelings of others into consideration, interpreting their words and actions to suit our feelings.

If anything, it is our feelings that make it difficult to obey God’s words. He tells us to love one another, to be merciful, gracious and compassionate (all the time, not when we feel like it). Now, how can we love that friend when we feel that they are being insensitive to our needs? How can we be merciful to that person who constantly makes us “feel” helpless? How can we be gracious to that neighbour when we “feel” like they are taking advantage of us? How can we be compassionate towards someone who lets us feel we shouldn’t get what we ask?

Think about the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance). While some of it may seem like things we “feel”, they actually require actions. For all it’s worth, our feelings do count – they are just not supposed to be in the forefront. If God has the driver’s seat in our lives and we take the passenger’s seat, then our feelings are left in the backseat.

If we are honest, we’d admit that our feelings are almost always all about us. And in contrast, nothing is all about us at all. Should something go in a way we didn’t expect or should some bad news come, our initial reaction is to act in line with our feelings and that is usually a bad idea and may get us in trouble with our relationships. So, instead, I wait. While your initial feeling may be valid from the onset, you are most likely not going to feel that way after a while. Nine times out of ten, our initial feelings on a situation are self-centred. This is one of the reasons while we cannot act based on how we feel. Take some time to run your feelings through a filter and figure out exactly how you should feel about the situation.

As we go through every day, let us carefully select our feelings and not let them run our lives. We must be in control of how we feel if we want to bloom.