I DON'T KNOW

When people ask me about my plans for the coming year - my plans for writing, my plans with school, my plans with singing, my plans in general - this is the answer - “I don’t know.”

Some four, five years ago, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I had a plan and a vision and a desire to go in a direction. But all that, all that has changed. Many tables in my life (school, writing, friendships, relationship status, body weight etc.) have been turned over. It’s scary at times, devastating at times, yet relieving at times, if that makes any sense. And boy, am I a worrier? - How am I going to go back to school? Who am I when I’m not with others? What part does writing play in my life? To marry now or not to marry yet, those are the questions.

And now, here I am standing in the middle of all these overturned tables, my dreams and plans scattered on the floor. So I wait for the power. I wait for the Lord to show up in a big way. I don’t know what that’s going to look like, but we’ll know it when it is here. Then we’re all gonna worship. Like children, we will not be restrained by our fears or our doubts. We won’t be able to resist the desire to praise Him for who He is and how He moves.

All of a sudden, my phone rings. Instead of taking the call, I sing along, oblivious of who the caller is:

“Yeah yeah

You know my name.
I know You wrote my story.
But there are days when I can't see a happy ending.
No, no.

Life get's hard.
Sometimes it just hurts.
It's kicking me down and throwing me curves.
When I feel the rain.
I won't be afraid.

'Cause I know, I know, I know You are Who You Say You Are.
Who You Say You Are.
You are the One still standing when everything is falling apart.
Yeah, You got my heart.
I'll still be smiling when the sky is dark.
'Cause I believe that You are Who You Say You Are.
You're Who You Say You Are.
Yeah, yeah.

I've had control.
But I didn't know where, I was going.
Yeah, yeah.
I went down my road.
But my road just left me broken, yeah yeah.

I see it all now.
I don't know how.
But there's never been a time that You let me down.
Or walked away, so I'm not afraid.

'Cause I know, I know, I know You are Who You Say You Are.
Who You Say You Are.
You are the One still standin' when everything is fallin' apart.
Yeah, You got my heart.
I'll still be smilin' when the sky is dark.
'Cause I believe that You are Who You Say You Are.

Life's gonna knock me down.
It's not gonna keep me down.
I'm gonna trust You now, in every season.
I know You're here.
I know You're for me.
I know that joy comes in the morning.
God, I believe it now.
God, I believe You now.

You're Who You Say You Are.
When life knocks me down.
I won't stay down.
I'll get back up on my feet now.
You're more than a conqueror.

I know, I know, I know You are Who You Say You Are.
Who You Say You Are.
You are the One still standin' when everything is fallin' apart.
Yeah, You got my heart.
I'll still be smilin' when the sky is dark.
'Cause I believe that You are Who You Say You Are.

Who You Say You Are.
Who You Say You Are.
You're Who You Say You Are.
Who You Say You Are.
I know You are, Who You Say You Are.
Who You Say You Are.
You're Who You Say You Are. .”

That is what I know. He is who He says He is, all glory, honour and praise to the One who knows all – for He says “... I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” – Jeremiah 29:11