TOO NICE?

There is a fine line between being nice, and being too nice. Here are a list of things that tend to happen when you cross the line to step into the too nice realm.

You apologize for things that aren’t your fault. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “sorry” to someone who has stepped on me just because they weren’t paying attention while they were walking. Saying sorry is a way of admitting you did something wrong. I will never forget one of my professors in the university who lectured us on the matter. He explained that you shouldn’t ever apologize for things that are beyond your control.

You make yourself look guilty and that resonates with the person you are apologizing too. Chances are, if you are an apologizing addict, then you’ve been called out on it before. Let me guess, you’ve apologized for apologizing too.

You work way too much. I get it, some people are workaholics. They burn themselves out at work: volunteering for extra shifts, covering for other people, taking on way too many tasks, etc. The problem is that they load so much on to that little plate of theirs, that they can’t keep up. Next thing you know they’re pulling an all-nighter with 18 cups of coffee. Please, you know better than that, that much coffee is bad!

You have stalkers. You have this “too nice” aura about you. Everybody wants to talk to you, particularly the creepy weird people. It would be rude not to talk back, right? Next thing you know is a secret you would never wish to stumble upon.

Your trust-o-meter is broken. You trust every Tom, Dick and Harry. "Hmmm, today I think I’ll leave my house unlocked. My purse is sitting in the driver’s seat with thousand naira notes sticking out of it. But that’s okay… No one will steal it.

Your new shirt bears a striking resemblance to a doormat. Let’s face it, people walk all over you. They know you will do whatever they ask you to do, so they take full advantage of that.

You never ask for help. Sure, people can ask you for favours all the time. But when it comes to you asking for a favour in return? Forget about it! You think you can handle everything on your own, and then you end up a big stress ball.

Making a decision is by far one of the hardest tasks. Where do you want to eat? I don’t care.. where do you want to eat? I asked you first! My god, try having this conversation with two indecisive people. You’re too nice so you don’t want to pick something that the other person might not like. You will probably eat something you hate if they suggest it, because you don’t want to feel bad for telling them you don’t like it.

You might as well change your name to Dr. Phil. There is no better listener out there than you. You can listen to people bitch about their lives all day. At the same time, you feel bad when you complain about anything. You don’t want to burden others with your problems, so you keep them to yourself.

You are awkward with compliments. God forbid somebody tells you that you look nice or they like your outfit. You don’t want to deny it, because you know how annoying it is when you have to consistently reinforce a compliment you give to someone else. You don’t want to say thanks because then you’re accepting what they are saying, and that would be vain.

Forget about getting someone to like you. Generally speaking, people are attracted to nice people.  Better be too nice rather than be too harsh but at the same time, nice folks have to figure out when they are being too nice. You aren’t a doormat and you shouldn’t let yourself be treated like one. Sometimes you have to act "un-nicely" to bloom.